Pappa wants mamma naked
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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