if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
