I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
