they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
