Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
