ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
