he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
50% drunk capacity currently
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
