she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
