I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
