her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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