I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize