What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
