I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
