"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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