shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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