Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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