my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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