Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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