I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
