FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
