Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
