weddingsv make me drug and hornr
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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