hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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