my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
