Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
