what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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