i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize