do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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