everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
