so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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