people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize