When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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