Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just had sex on a roof
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
