Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
