Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize