He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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