At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
