i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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