i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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