I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
