Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
