We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
