Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize