So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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