i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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