I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
