dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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