dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
