So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
