4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
