What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
