let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize