it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
