Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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