the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
