new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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