he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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