these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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