You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
