Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish i was in the wii world.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
