what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
