I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
