i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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