You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
