I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The air was thick with penises
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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