i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
