i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
