12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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