Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
